happy diwali

yes! a very happy DIWALi to all of ye out ther....

all the culture seems to ooze out today huh?
then just check these out!

.........
A young second generation Indian in the US, is explaining the
significance of Diwali to his younger brother. This is how he would go
about it::::::

So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and
people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a
bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he
was Ram, to some national forest or something... since he was going,
for like, something like more than 10 years or so. He decided to get
his wife and his bro. along...you know...so that they could all chill
out together. But DUDE, the forest was reeeeal scary shit...really
man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude,
Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was Fine. But
then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe
(Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also
his bro., Lakshman, pissed... And you DON't piss this son-of-a-gun
cuz, he just kicks ass and like... all the gods were with him. So
anyways, you don't mess with gods. SO, Ram, and his bro. get an army
of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys...
just go along with me, ok... so, Ram, Laksh. And their monkeys whip
this gangsta's ass in his ownhood. Anyways, by this time, their time's
up in the forest...And anyways...it gets kinda boring, you know... no
TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back
home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro. And the
wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they
deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in
those days...so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they,
like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps,
they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all
those fireworks...Really, they even had some local band play along
with the fireworks..And you know, what, dude, that was the very first,
no kidding..,that was the very first music-synchronised fireworks...
you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff,
you know. And, so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival started.

Cool! Diwali rocks......
........

another joke on our famous mahabhaarat....


In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching
the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the 'krishnajanma' (birth of lord krishna)part of it.

Masterji: "Kamsa heard the Akashwani(heavenly voice) that his sister's
8th child is going to kill him. Kamsa furious then ordered
to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. When the first son is
born, Kamsa kills him by poisoning... second child is born and
Kamsa throws him off the mountain peak...third child is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand.
Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have
doubt in mahabharata then how come you have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kamsa knew that Devaki's 8th
child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE
PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.........................


have a HAPPY DIWALI folks!!!

.....k......